Do you know what I like about your program? Even when I’m running the vacuum, I can understand it.

When a man and a woman see each other and like each other they ought to come together – wham – like a couple of taxis on Broadway, not sit around analyzing each other like two specimens in a bottle.

If there’s anything worse than a woman living alone, it’s a woman saying she likes it.

We’ve become a race of Peeping Toms. What people ought to do is get outside their own house and look in for a change. Yes sir. How’s that for a bit of homespun philosophy?

Intelligence. Nothing has caused the human race so much trouble as intelligence.

We've become a race of Peeping Toms. What people ought to do is get outside their own house and look in for a change. Yes sir. How's that for a bit of homespun philosophy?

Stella: I got a nose for trouble. I can smell it ten miles away. . . . I can smell trouble right here in this apartment. First you smash your leg. Then you get to lookin' out the window. See things you shouldn't see. Trouble. I can see you in court now, surrounded by a bunch of lawyers in double-breasted suits. You're pleading: 'Judge, it was only a little bit of innocent fun. I love my neighbors like a father.' And the Judge says, 'Well, congratulations, you've just given birth to three years in. . . .'

Between the late late show at night and Dave Garroway in the morning, why, it seems like there ain't much time.

Nobody ever invented a polite word for a killing yet.

When a man and a woman see each other and like each other they ought to come together - wham - like a couple of taxis on Broadway, not sit around analyzing each other like two specimens in a bottle.